Sunday, August 12, 2007

not so much

I didn't do my writing today because I slept really late (I'm not on a regular sleeping pattern since I was sick) and once I woke up I did a lot more communicating than I've done in the last month. I'm generally a talker and from being sick I really went more inside myself than I've ever been. It's like I turned from an extrovert to an introvert. It has been a fascinating transformation.

One person I did talk to was a young Indian Sikh child (13) who is doing a film for the Sikhnet Film Festival. He has a great idea about bringing awareness to ourselves as a human race by simply reaching out and connecting. He did this by interviewing people in his own neighborhood. This helped him both learn about different cultures/races/religions as well as teach about his own background as a Indian Sikh. It inspired me both to get back on the ball with making movies as well as send in my own film to Sikhnet. I am going to submit the video I did for MPA when I lived in India, but I also want to do another one. I have looked through some of my own footage and I think between the video footage and my photography, I can make something happen.

I also have been researching online to get a good website where I can showcase the goods that I am selling to make a living right now. I have realized the deep importance for me to have a job where I'm expressing my own creativity and running my own world. So, along with pursuing photography professionally by connecting with Yoga magazines, I am doing a wholesaling importing business of Indian goods. The first step, though, in our day and age is to get the products and photographs up online. So, in my research I just found a website where I am going to be able to show my goods - like an online brochure. I'll put in the prices for retail, but have it as a place that my wholesalers can go to in order to see what I have to sell them. I am excited about this as it is an answer to what I've been looking for.

I realize that it is important for me to remember that in life I don't have to 'do' everything. Instead, it's important for me to be able to have the vision for what I want to manifest and instead of getting up to try to make it happen, it's important for me to sit and let it evolve and come to me. Before I would always get up and chase after what I wanted. This is a whole new paradigm for me as it is a way I have never worked. But I do believe that it is a skill that will advance the capacity of my being and my vision in this world. I realized that I don't have much energy on this planet and if that is the case, then I have to use what I do have wisely.

In that spirit, I am going to do the meditation for guidance that I've been wanting to do and avoiding all day long.

Night :)

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Starting my Artist Pages

So this is my new journal. I figured that whatever I am going to be writing, I should be ready and willing to share it with the world as it is but a spirit having a human experience. We are all in the same boat. So I am going to attempt to write everyday the recommended 3 pages from that book the Artist's Way. It is supposed to help and support one's creativity to flow through. Therefor, I am making this blog very unofficial and if I want to write about how I'm feeling today or a thing that pissed me off, I'm going to share it. Basically I am attempting to not censor myself.
I have always thought that in the Aquarian Age, everything will be transparent. I can already see it happen when I look at someone and there is an inner knowing to everything that person is dealing with in the present moment. It's like how they talk about in the Guru that each person's destiny is written on their forehead. It's funny how we walk around and think that we are going through what we are going through and other people don't know. But actually, every thought and feeling that you have are right there out in the open within your aura that other people can read and pick up on. I think about this a lot being a woman. I think about how it depends on my projection whether I am going to attract certain kinds of energy or not. I thought it was so fascinating a few years ago when a friend of mine would attract these 'stalkers' who would be so obsessed with her they didn't know what to do with themselves. She saw a healer/psychic who said that she herself had that kind of stalker relationship with the divine. She was always going after the divine so intently that it was written all over her aura. Therefor she would attract that energy that she was sending out to the Universe.
I also think about when I've been in relationships and when I haven't, how much I attract male attention or energy towards me. When I've been 'on the hunt' more or less, I've gotten to watch the laws of attraction either get stronger towards me or get even farther away. However, when I'm in a relationship, when my aura is projecting that I am not available, I almost hardly ever get male attention or energy. It's like I hold a certain vibration that I am not to be looked at in a certain way, as I'm spoken for. I love the power we hold as humans and especially for me as a woman to be able to be aware of these kinds of things.
So, I just got over being so sick! I got so weak that I couldn't even write an email, which to me, being of this information age, says a lot. It was scary to watch all of my energy go down down down the drain and not be able to do anything about it.
Alright - I am going to take a brake and write a little later. My intention is to write for tomorrow and the next day and the next day. If this helps anyone, great, and if this has no impact on the world except for me to figure out some things within myself, that is great too.
god bless