To Just Be

Today is a new day...and i woke up with a cold.

slowing down. i realized after i wrote my last email how much energy I put towards 'not quite getting it'. towards my inner resistance. I went and meditated by the waterfall in Bhagsu after having trouble breathing for a while. When I was there, i relaxed into the fact that I am being provided with exactly what I need at every second whether that is breathing with ease or an asthma attack.

today as i woke up with a runny nose i relized the fact that right now, i am perfect just the way i am. I am me.
If I haven't fully grasped or gotten a concept that I feel I can transcend, then this is part of the process. I am here to simply listen, to simply be.

I went to the tibetan museum at the Temple today, and also hung out with a young tibetan man who had travelled 36 days through the Himilayan mountains to get to Dharamsala to meet the Dalai Lama. A country, a culture in exile all for what? the stories of oppresion and robbery of tradition really touched my soul with compassion and a desire to understand. It make me think of why we have the karmas that we have. It made me think about my own internal struggle and simply let it go, as the game of relativity played strong, and regardless, i am truly blessed, as are all of you.

To my friend Tinzen meeting the Dalai Lama was like making it to heaven, meeting god. he spent the first 22 years of his life have this desire and he hadto go through hell to make it here to dharamsala (he got frostbite, ran out of food, got stuck in snow storms, etc). He is now selling cd's on the street and hanging out at age 28. i asked him if he liked it here, but he said that he prefers living in tibet more, though it would be too dangerous for him to ever go back. Funny that he spent his whole life with a mission, and now that he has succeeded, he just lives everyday thankful, but nonetheless, just lives everyday existing.

We all make trade offs to how and why we live our lives. sometimes we are living for a goal adn we don't see what the downfalls will be when we reach it. sometimes we are living in a blind state of monotony and 'having to get our bills paid'. someitmes we just are.
Judging the blessings of the trials is not in our hands to decide, but merely a divine play and dance by the creator. It's all relative. even this moment is.